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Tending to Relationships

Leah Weisberg

 

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Our relationships can create profound feelings of happiness and joy, but they can also produce feelings of anger and anxiety.

We know that our mental wellness is inextricably linked with how satisfied we are in our closest relationships, but relationships take a lot of work.

Often couples come into therapy feeling unheard, unseen and unappreciated.  Each party is certain that something is wrong, however, few have the self-awareness to know what aspect of the problem they are contributing to.

A common defense mechanism that people use to distance themselves from unpleasant feelings and thoughts is denial.  This can manifest itself in denying one’s own mental health challenges, or the hurtful behaviours that their partner is exhibiting.

Projection is yet another defense mechanism that people use to protect themselves, that is, not taking responsibility for one’s own thoughts and feelings and ascribing these feelings to another person.

Either way, the best prevention for relational conflict is to have open communication.

When two people are able to share their inner experience with another, and also appreciate the inner experience of the other, empathy can be founded and mutual understanding can be achieved.

It is when trust, forgiveness and boundaries are present that relationships can aid in enhancing our mental well-being.  And you deserve these kind of relationships.

3 Relational Tools:

Trust

  • The ability to make one’s weaknesses be known and to risk being vulnerable.
  • Requires self-acceptance, self-love and self-trust.
  • This can be difficult if one has experienced emotional or physical abuse in the past, or who has low self-esteem and trouble believing that he is worthy of attention.

Forgiveness

  • The ability to release anger and resentment towards another.
  • Enables spiritual, emotional and physical transformation.

Boundaries

  • Healthy perimeter around the relationship defining the role of each individual.
  • Prevents attachment issues such as anxious-attachment or avoidant-attachment.

These are difficult yet worthy skills to develop.  Be in touch if you have any questions.

Sincerely, Leah Weisberg, RN BScN BC-NC
Nurse Psychotherapist & Coach
Director of Interprofessional Practice

Restoring balance

Each person requires a unique approach to treatment. 

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