If you grew up believing your needs were "too much," you're not alone—especially as a woman with ADHD living in North York. In the therapy room, I hear time and again: "I always feel like I'm asking for too much," or "It just feels safer to handle things alone." If this sounds familiar, know that your needs are valid. This space is for untangling the old belief that you must shrink yourself to make life smoother for others—because your needs are not a liability.

The Weight of Perceived Burdensomeness

It's common for high-functioning adults—especially those masking ADHD symptoms—to carry quiet guilt about having needs. That little whisper: "Don't be a burden." In North York's fast pace, it's easy to internalize a belief that your struggles are "extra work" for others.

Cognitive Reframes: Psychology Meets Self-Kindness

A cognitive reframe means gently challenging self-judgment. Instead of "I shouldn't need help," try: "It's human to need support." Therapy often helps tease apart guilt spirals from genuine self-care. There's strength in asking for what you need, even if it feels awkward at first.

ADHD, Masking, and the Over-Explaining Trap

Women with ADHD become experts at covering their difficulties—explaining, justifying, or over-functioning. This is survival, not failure. The aim? To move from apologizing for your needs to quietly honoring them, one small reframe at a time.

Gentle Steps Toward Permission

• Practice one reframe a day: "My needs are information, not inconvenience." • Notice "sorry" before you ask for anything—then pause. • Remember: Self-kindness models healthy boundaries for others, too. Explore ADHD support at Dynamic Health Clinic.
External Source: CAMH on ADHD.