Intro:
It’s easy to feel like you’re “too much” at work—especially if you’re a woman with ADHD in Toronto’s fast-paced, high-expectation workplaces. Maybe you find yourself carefully masking, double-checking every comment, or apologizing for sharing your real ideas. This article is your quiet permission slip: your needs are valid, you are not a burden, and it’s safe to show up as yourself, even when masking feels automatic. Let’s unpack how ADHD masking and perceived burdensomeness can seep into your work life, and how you might begin to heal.

Why Masking Happens—Especially in Toronto Workplaces

Masking can feel protective, especially when you want to fit in or avoid being seen as “high-maintenance.” In cities like Toronto, where performance is prized, women with ADHD often become experts at reading the room, smoothing over their own quirks, and anticipating others’ needs. But this comes at a cost: emotional exhaustion, and a sense of never quite belonging—even to yourself.

The Weight of Perceived Burdensomeness

Many women with ADHD internalize the fear that their needs (requests for clarity, breaks, or adjustments) make them a burden in professional settings. This is called perceived burdensomeness. Left unchecked, it can fuel anxiety, over-functioning, and guilt spirals—leading you to undermine your ideas or silence your voice in meetings.

Cognitive Reframes for Workplace Belonging

One helpful approach is the cognitive reframe—reminding yourself that everyone brings both needs and strengths to a team. Your unique brain is an asset, even if support looks a little different. Try noticing when you start to self-edit, and gently ask: “What need am I trying to hide? And is it really too much, or just human?”

Honoring Your Needs Without Over-Explaining

It’s common to over-explain or apologize for basic needs—like needing written instructions, or asking for a quiet workspace. Instead, try stating your needs plainly: “I work best with clear outlines, is that possible?” This both lowers anxiety and quietly educates those around you.

Where to Find Support

If you’d like deeper support in unmasking and embracing your needs at work, our clinic’s team uses trauma-informed and ADHD-aware approaches. For further reading, check out CAMH’s ADHD resource.