If you’ve ever worried about being “too much,” you’re not alone—and you deserve space for all your feelings and needs. In therapy sessions with women across Toronto, I hear the secret burdens of always feeling “too big,” “too needy,” or “too emotional.” Here, we’ll explore why that fear forms and how you can gently release it.

Where Does the ‘Too Much’ Story Begin?

Often, the belief that our needs are a liability takes root early. Maybe you got told you were “dramatic” or “too sensitive.” Over time, these messages stick and grow into self-doubt and internalized shame—especially for adults with ADHD, who already question whether they’re a “burden.”

Unpacking Perceived Burdensomeness

In clinical psychology, “perceived burdensomeness” is a real, recognized concept. It’s the sense that your needs are an inconvenience or drain on others. But feelings aren’t facts. This sense can drive you to mask your needs or over-function for everyone else—yet rarely for yourself.

How Over-Functioning Holds Us Back

When you’re always making yourself smaller to fit in or please others, it’s exhausting. Therapy is a space to explore the guilt spiral, the endless “sorry for venting,” and the habit of downplaying what you actually need.

Cognitive Reframe: Your Needs Are Valid

Therapeutic work gently challenges the idea that your needs make you a burden. We practice cognitive reframing—reminding yourself, with kindness, that you deserve support and rest just like anyone else.

Next Steps: Compassionate Support is Available

If you’re ready to take up space in your own life, consider our therapy services here in Toronto. For deeper reading on self-compassion and perceived burdensomeness, see CAMH’s self-esteem resources.

Your needs are not too much. You are allowed to be exactly as you are.